Not In This Lifetime
by Kawoosh is Obsessed
Summary: A slightly different crossover...
1. Not In This Lifetime, parts 1 and 2

Title: Not in This Lifetime Part 2  
  
Author: Kawoosh  
  
Email: damsel71@iprimus.com.au  
  
Status: complete  
  
Category: Action adventure  
  
Pairings: none  
  
Spoilers: none – that I have noticed, please let me know if you find any.  
  
Season: after season 7  
  
Sequel/Series Info: sequel to "Not in This Lifetime" Part 1 obviously.  
  
Rating: G  
  
Content Warnings: none  
  
Summary: A different brand of crossover...  
  
Disclaimer: Stargate SG1 is the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions, The Amazing Race belongs to CBS. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.  
  
Authors Note: Part one was written by jacksrubberduckie, Email: jacksrubberduckie@yahoo.co.uk, for Forks In The Road www.forks-in-the- road.tk  
  
Archive: FITR-site, fanfiction.net  
  
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Not In This Lifetime Part One:  
  
"No. No way. You cannot be serious. There is no way we're doing that. Not in this lifetime. This has got to be someone's idea of a very warped joke. Isn't it? Yep that's it. It's a joke, definitely a joke. Couldn't be for real. Please tell me it's not for real."  
  
TBC  
  
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"I'm sorry Colonel, but there's no way we can get out of this. The diplomats from P3X 747 were exposed to some dubious television whilst they were here, and now they want to challenge just about everyone they can think of to an interplanetary "Amazing Race". General Hammond stood up and pushed his chair back in frustration.  
  
"If we refuse to participate it will cause a major diplomatic incident, and may even put the protected planets treaty in jeopardy. We've been asked to supply 2 teams of 2 people, and you Jack, will be part of one of them."  
  
Jack stared at the General in disbelief, "Have you ever watched that show? They make you climb down walls front ways, and eat live squid, and.. and... stuff! How are they gonna make it work?"  
  
"I'm afraid I don't know the answer to that Colonel, but I want you to pick 3 other people to participate, and be ready to ship out in 6 hours. You'll be gone for a couple of months, so I'll arrange for your homes to be taken care of, you just get your teams ready." General Hammond led the way out of his office, and headed for the elevators.  
  
"I suggest you just take SG1 with you Jack, you all work well, and you are the best we have."  
  
Jack sighed as the elevator doors closed, and then headed off to find his team, and break the news to them.  
  
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TBC 


	2. Not In This Lifetime, part 3

Title: Not in This Lifetime Part 3  
  
Authors Note: I haven't actually managed to ever see a first episode of The Amazing Race, just subsequent episodes, so this is completely made up.  
  
Archive: FITR-site, fanfiction.net  
  
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Previously....  
  
"I'm sorry Colonel, but there's no way we can get out of this. The diplomats from P3X 747 were exposed to some dubious television whilst they were here, and now they want to challenge just about everyone they can think of to an interplanetary "Amazing Race".  
  
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The gate rumbled to itself as SG1 gathered at the bottom of the ramp. Jack was still glowering, Sam and Daniel were quietly discussing a few last minor details with Dr Fraiser and General Hammond, and Teal'c was standing patiently, with his usual stoic expression on his face.  
  
The gate kawooshed as the final chevron locked, and Jack turned to George as the rest of his team headed up the ramp and into the wormhole.  
  
"Well, here goes nothing sir, I just hope the squids know we're coming."  
  
George stifled a smile, "I'm sure everything will be just fine Jack. The Qantasian's will be keeping us updated as each leg of the race is completed, and we'll see you all back here at the end of it."  
  
Jack humphed his displeasure, and headed up the ramp, waving his hand over his shoulder at his boss as he disappeared into the wormhole.  
  
**************************************************************************  
  
After their arrival on P3X 747, SG1 were shown to a large meeting room, where the other teams invited to participate in the race were gathering. So far 2 teams had arrived from the System Lords, Ba'al, Bastet, Osiris and Kali stood arrogantly at the front of the room, suspiciously eyeing off two teams of Tok'ra who were sitting primly on the left side of the room. Sam's face lit up as she saw that her father was one of the team members, and SG1 made their way over to join them.  
  
"Sam!" Jacob greeted his daughter with a large hug, and then shook the hands of the remaining members of SG1. "I see you've been conned into this... adventure as well."  
  
"Not by choice Jacob," Jack muttered sourly, "but I'm getting used to this sort of crazy thing."  
  
As they talked quietly amongst themselves, another group entered the room, this one a formidable display of strength and independence. SG1 and the Tok'ra smiled with amusement as the guide nervously showed the Jaffa rebels to an area well away from the system lords.  
  
"Do you think the Qantasian's know what they've gotten themselves into here?" Daniel wondered, "How much do they actually know about the Goa'uld anyway?"  
  
Jacob's expression sobered as he considered Daniel's questions, "I don't know Daniel, but I'm thinking that this could be a very interesting experience for those of us involved. Just be careful."  
  
The continued to watch in silence, as slowly the other teams gathered, until there were 12 teams from 6 represented worlds in the meeting room.  
  
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TBC 


	3. Not In This Lifetime, part 4

Title: Not in This Lifetime Part 4  
  
Archive: FITR-site, fanfiction.net  
  
Authors note: thanks to G for beta-ing, and naming some of the characters... I'm hopeless with names (eg Qantasia... aussies may recognise this source ( )  
  
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Previously....  
  
SG1 has joined representatives from 5 other worlds/races in an intergalactic version of The Amazing Race.  
  
**************************************************************************** ******  
  
The Qantasian ambassador was a tall thin man, with a nervous twitch. He was wearing long robes, and clutched a handful of papers tightly to his chest. He stepped up onto the podium of the meeting room, gave the Goa'uld system lords a nervous side look, and began to speak.  
  
"Welcome, honoured guests to Qantasia. We are most grateful to you all for accepting our invitation to join our little excursion. We have elected to keep the rules simple."  
  
"Gee, that's nice of them." Jack muttered to Daniel under his breath.  
  
The ambassador nervously rustled the papers in front of him, "Teams must follow instructions that they will find after completing tasks or solving puzzles. There will be 4 sections of race, with a one day stop over at the end of each segment. The race will be monitored by the Asgard, and any team disobeying rules," here he looked sternly but nervously at the system lords again, "will be removed from the race immediately. The last three teams to cross the finish line of each leg will be eliminated from the race."  
  
"The teams that have accepted our invitations are as follows:  
  
Representing the Goa'uld System Lords - Team 1 – Lord Bastet and Lord Kali and Team 2 – Lord Ba'al and Lord Osiris."  
  
The Goa'uld's reluctantly rose to their feet when prompted, and stood arrogantly for a few seconds before re-seating themselves.  
  
"I wonder why they accepted the invitation." Daniel murmured quietly, looking askance at the Goa'ulds. "It's not like them to go out and play nicely like good children."  
  
"Oh, I dunno," Jack replied, inspecting his fingernails, "maybe there's more in it than we've been led to believe."  
  
"Well, that is entirely possible sir, we know very little about the Qantasians..." Sam broke off as the ambassador continued announcing the teams.  
  
"Representing Kelowna - Team 3 – Jonas Quinn and Lianna Seberg and Team 4 – Tiranian Ambassador Sevann and Andari Ambassador Noor."  
  
"Wow, Jonas is looking happy." Sam observed, with some slight amusement.  
  
Jack looked at her sideways, and she hid a grin as the ambassador introduced the Tok'ra teams.  
  
"Representing the Tok'ra – Team 5 – Jacob/Selmak and Malek and Team 6 – Thoran and Dancun  
  
"Uh oh, here we go." Jack muttered sourly, as he prepared to stand up. "May as well look as tho we're happy to be here campers, smile and wave please!"  
  
"Representing the Tau'ri – Team 7 – Colonel Jack O'Neill and Daniel Jackson and Team 8 – Major Samantha Carter and Teal'c."  
  
They dutifully smiled and waved, with Jack sending an extra big smile and wave in the direction of the System Lords, who glowered and glowed in annoyance.  
  
"Representing the Free Jaffa – Team 9 – Bra'tac and Rya'c and Team 10 – Rak'nor and Nev'ak."  
  
The Jaffa were stoic and intimidating as they rose and inclined their heads as one, then resumed their seats.  
  
"And finally, our own teams, representing Qantasia - Team 11 – Trilassa DeWalt and Jekt Nicholai and Team 12 – Malenek Hadar and Calif Elba"  
  
The Qantasian teams smiled and waved enthusiastically, their exuberance almost an insult to some of the more reluctant participants.  
  
The Ambassador was looking more comfortable now, and closed his speech off with a bit more confidence.  
  
"If each team would please follow their guide to their quarters, you have 2 hours to complete final preparations. Your guides will then take you to starting line, and the race will begin."  
  
Slowly the room emptied, as each team went to make their final preparations for the race ahead.  
  
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TBC 


	4. Not In This Lifetime, part 5

Title: Not in This Lifetime Part 5  
  
Archive: FITR-site, fanfiction.net  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
Previously...  
  
"If each team would please follow their guide to their quarters, you have 2 hours to complete final preparations. Your guides will then take you to the starting line, and the race will begin."  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
The sun was high in the sky as spectators gathered at the base of a large hill, which sloped gently for several hundred meters, then climbed steeply to a flat peak. On the plain below them was a large spiral hedge maze, about two meters high, with two small gaps breaking the outer wall on the side closest to the hill. In the centre of the maze was a large area where a large banner had been strung between two tall poles, marking the start line, and underneath it stood a man dressed in a bright shiny shirt and pants, with a large smiling face, and talking rapidly in front of a camera. The inner circle of the maze was broken by six gaps, each one with an enveloped pinned to either side of the entrance to the maze.  
  
Jack paced the inside of the teltak as it flew slowly to the starting line. All of their equipment had been removed when they left the staging area, and all they had left were the uniforms they had arrived in.  
  
"Jack would you sit down, you're giving me a headache." complained Daniel.  
  
"Oh come on Daniel, are you really that relaxed?" Jack muttered, as he turned and paced back to where Daniel was sitting. "Look at us, we're stuck in this tiny little heap of junk, with *them*," here both men cast sidelong glances at the two system lords who were sitting stiffly as far away from the other teams as possible, "and we don't even know what we're supposed to be doing!" Jack threw his arms up in the air in frustration, and then plonked himself down next to Daniel.  
  
Daniel bent his head onto his folded arms and groaned. "C'mon Jack, give it a chance will you? From what I've seen of The Amazing Race on tele, it's supposed to fun... challenging but fun."  
  
Jack's reply was cut off by the announcement that they had arrived at the starting line, and the teams were ringed down to the centre of the maze, where the other 6 teams were already waiting.  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
The teams gathered in the centre of the maze, as a man with a confused look on his face finished talking into a camera.  
  
"Hi there, and welcome to our Race!" he nervously smiled as he turned to face the gathered teams. "I'm Phil and I'm the host of the...er... race..." As he spoke he kept looking around nervously, as if unsure what he was doing here, and even less sure about where 'here' actually was. "I'll be waiting for you at the Pit Stop at the end of each leg of the race, and will be keeping a close eye on you all for the duration of the race."  
  
"Hey Daniel," Jack nudged, "Does this guy look familiar to you?."  
  
Daniel peered at Phil intently, "You know, he does look familiar..."  
  
"Well whoever he is, if he keeps acting like that he's gonna get real annoying when I'm tired."  
  
"Jack..." Daniel's voice carried a note of 'Would you just shut up for 5 minutes, and let me concentrate.'  
  
Phil took a deep breath, seemed to recover himself, and pasted an 'I know what's happening and I'm cool with it' look on his face. "As soon as the siren signals the start of the race, grab an envelope from one of the maze entrances, and follow the instructions. I'd like to wish you all good luck, and may the best team win!"  
  
"Ready.... Set.... GO!!!!"  
  
The teams waited expectantly, and as soon as the loud siren began to wail, each team raced to an entrance, grabbed their envelope, and tore it open.  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
Jack and Daniel both grabbed the envelope at the same time, almost tearing it in half in their haste to open it. The envelope on the other side of their entrance was already gone, the team that claimed it gone already.  
  
Daniel managed to gain control of the envelope, and quickly had it open so he could read their first task.  
  
"Find your way out of the maze to where your bags are located, then climb to the top of the hill where you will find your next clue." He read aloud.  
  
"Oh well, that doesn't sound to difficult." Jack shrugged, and with a quick look around to see how everyone else was going, he and Daniel entered the maze. Immediately behind them on the opposite side of the centre of the maze, Sam and Teal'c were also entering the maze, followed rapidly by one of the Qantasian teams. In less than a minute, the only people left in the centre of the maze were Phil and his camera crew.  
  
Daniel twisted and turned through the maze as he and Jack tried to find their way out. After several minutes of random turns, and several arguments about which way to go, they ran straight into Rak'nor and Nev'ak.  
  
"Woah, hey guys, having any luck?" Jack queried.  
  
"It seems not." Rak'nor replied, "Although we have not seen any other teams before you."  
  
"Well, maybe we could all stick together for now," Daniel suggested, "I think I may have worked out how to get out of here anyway. There should be another fork just back the way you came, which I think we need to investigate."  
  
Rak'nor and Nev'ak looked at each other, and nodded in agreement. "We will come with you then."  
  
They turned and headed back the way they had come, and within minutes Daniel had led them all out of the maze.  
  
As they exited they could see two teams already loaded up with backpacks, and headed up the hill, and another team was quickly grabbing their bags from the row in front of the maze. They raced over to where the bags where, and grabbed their bags, and headed for the hill, as two more teams broke free of the maze and ran to get their bags.  
  
In front of them they could see Sam and Teal'c, Jacob and Malek, Bastet and Kali, and close behind them were Jonas and Lianna, and one of the Qantasian teams.  
  
As they ran up the slope of the hill Rak'nor and Nev'al pulled in front, quickly overtaking Bastet and Kali, then Jacob and Malek. Jack and Daniel followed, reaching the base of the steep climb shortly behind them.  
  
Jack groaned as the climb steepened, "I knew this was a bad idea." he complained to Daniel, who was too busy climbing and puffing to answer him.  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
Sam and Teal'c reached the flat top of the hill first, and took an envelope from the box that was in the centre of the platform. Sam opened it, and quietly read the instructions to Teal'c, as Rak'nor and Nev'al arrived to claim their envelope.  
  
"Take a death glider from the row at the bottom of the hill, and fly it 1000 kilometres east to the Temple of Ra. To find the clue you will need to search for a tablet containing the co-ordinates of the first Pit Stop."  
  
They raced round the edge of the top of the hill until they spotted the row of death gliders, and started climbing back down to their destination, followed by Rak'nor and Nev'al, then Jack and Daniel, and Jacob and Malek. The other teams had fallen behind during the long climb up the hill, and some were already struggling.  
  
The first four teams reached the bottom of the hill almost simultaneously, and 4 death gliders took off in unison, screaming across the sky in pursuit of first place.  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
TBC 


	5. Not In This Lifetime, part 6

Title: Not in This Lifetime Part 6  
  
Authors note: I know Osiris is on Anubis' side at the moment, but hey, maybe she's spying for him. Anyway, I just thought she and Ba'al could get really niggly at each other (  
  
Archive: FITR-site, fanfiction.net  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
Previously...  
  
The first four teams reached the bottom of the hill almost simultaneously, and 4 death gliders took off in unison, screaming across the sky in pursuit of first place.  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
The last team emerged from the twists and turns of the maze as 4 death gliders sped overhead. Ba'al and Osiris had spent most of their time in the maze arguing with each other, and with a quick glance above they now collected their bags, and followed the rest of the teams up the hill. They could see 4 teams climbing the hill in front of them and pushed themselves hard to try and catch up. Halfway up the hill another death glider roared overhead, followed shortly by another, and then a third several minutes later. Two of the teams in front of them had disappeared at the top of the hill, and they were rapidly catching up to the team directly in front of them.  
  
The second Kelownan team of Sevann and Noor spared only quick glances for the two system lords about to pass them, and concentrated on reaching the top of the hill. They hauled themselves over the lip of the top of the hill, and claimed their clue seconds after Ba'al and Osiris. Down the hill they could see Bra'tac and Rya'c climbing into a death glider, with the second Qantasian team close behind, and the second Tok'ra team was still only halfway down the hill. Sevann and Noor adjusted their bags on their backs, and followed Ba'al and Osiris down the side of the hill.  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
Sam and Teal'c settled in to their seats for the long flight to the Temple of Ra. Teal'c switched on the autopilot of the slightly modified death glider, and proceeded to investigate the contents of his bag, whilst Sam drank from the water bottle she had found in hers.  
  
"So Teal'c, how hard do you think it will be to find this tablet we'll be looking for?" Sam asked.  
  
"I am not sure Major Carter. I do not know how big this temple will be, or in what state we will find it."  
  
"Well, where do you think the best place to start would be? I was thinking if we start in the altar room, then work our way from there." Sam put her water bottle back, and explored further into the contents of her bag.  
  
"Indeed Major Carter, the altar room seems the most likely place to find a hidden treasure, or a clue." Teal'c glanced at his instruments. "We shall not arrive for a while yet, I suggest we attempt to rest."  
  
Sam agreed with Teal'c, and they both closed their eyes and relaxed.  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
Jack wriggled around, trying to get comfortable. "Damn it, I never did like the seats in these things." he muttered to himself. "Hey Danny boy, how you going back there?"  
  
"What?" Daniel looked up from his exploration of his bag. "Hey, they've given us MRE's," he complained, "why do we always have to have these things? You'd think they'd at least give us something decent to snack on up here."  
  
"What, you'd prefer airline food?" Jack asked sarcastically.  
  
Daniel glared at the back of Jack's head, "You know, not all airline food is bad. And some of it is a hell of a bit better than this crap." He dropped the MRE back into the bag in disgust, and peered out of the canopy of the death glider. "So how long is it gonna take us to get there? Do you know exactly where we're supposed to be going? Where's everyone else anyway?" he peered around, craning his neck in an effort to spot the other teams.  
  
Jack glanced up from his control panel, "According to the radar there's one glider directly in front of us, and two more on our sides. Then it looks like 3 more just in radar contact, and I can't see anything else at the moment."  
  
He gazed around a bit more, trying to see if there was any interesting scenery but all he could see was the shimmering orange surface of hot sandy deserts passing rapidly below them.  
  
Jack looked at the radar again, noticing a small blip appearing in front of them. "Hey I think we're nearly there." he said. "Fasten your seatbelt Daniel, we're coming in for a landing!"  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
Jonas grinned as he brought the death glider to a gentle landing next to the four that were already there. He turned in his seat as the canopy opened, and grabbed his bag and climbed out. He turned and helped Lianna down from the cockpit, smiling happily at her.  
  
"So," he said, "first time in a death glider... what did you think?"  
  
Lianna breathed deeply, "Well, it was... fast." she said slowly, "and I think you could do with some more lessons on how to fly them... but...." she smiled at him, "it was good. Now, lets go find this tablet before any one else does!"  
  
They grabbed their bags, and raced up the steps into the temple. "Where do you think we should start?" Lianna called to Jonas as they entered the main corridor.  
  
"Hmmm... how about over there." Jonas pointed to a doorway off to the left, and they headed off to begin their search. The room they had chosen was large, with shelves all along one side of it, fresco's on the two side walls, and carvings of ancient battles on the wall they had entered through. Stacked high on the shelves were rows and rows of tablets. Working quickly they started searching through the stacks of tablets, looking for the one that would give them the co-ordinates of their next destination.  
  
As they worked they could hear the sounds of other teams arriving, and searching. Some time after they arrived, Bra'tac and Rya'c joined them in their room, and immediately started searching at the other end of the room. As they continued their search two teams left the temple, already in possession of the vital clue.  
  
"I've found it!" Lianna exclaimed, and Jonas joined her to look at the tablet. "Return to the Stargate, and dial the address inscribed below." she read.  
  
"OK, lets go then," Jonas grabbed his bag, and they raced back to their glider, taking off in third place.  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
Sam swore silently in frustration as she heard another death glider take off. Teal'c was searching the alcoves behind the altar, whilst she dug through piles of tablets that were stacked haphazardly against the walls. Jack and Daniel had already left with their tablet, which they'd found hidden in a secret compartment underneath the altar, and she had heard Bastet and Kali gloating with triumph as they too had found their tablet. She could hear other teams arriving, minutes later the second Tok'ra team entered the altar room in their quest for the next clue.  
  
"Major Carter I believe I have found what we're looking for." Sam looked up with relief as Teal'c approached her with a tablet. She saw immediately that it was what they were looking for, and they both snatched up their bags and ran out of the temple.  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
TBC 


	6. Not In This Lifetime, part 7

Title: Not in This Lifetime Part 7  
  
Archive: FITR-site, fanfiction.net  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
Previously...  
  
"Major Carter I believe I have found what we're looking for." Sam looked up with relief as Teal'c approached her with a tablet. She saw immediately that it was what they were looking for, and they both snatched up their bags and ran out of the temple.  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
As Sam and Teal'c took off in their death glider, they circled the temple once to get their bearings, then zoomed off in the direction of the Stargate.  
  
As they passed over the temple Sam did a quick count – she could see 2 death gliders on the ground, the sun glinting off 3 more that were approaching, and she had heard 3 take off whilst they were still searching.  
  
"So that puts us in fourth place for now." she murmured to herself, "unless there were other teams that arrived and departed before we even got there."  
  
"Do not worry Major Carter," Teal'c said, "you are correct in our current ranking. There are 3 teams in front of us, Colonel O'Neill and Daniel Jackson, Bastet and Kali, and Jonas Quinn and Lianna Seberg. There are 8 teams behind us."  
  
Sam smiled, "Thanks Teal'c, sounds like we're doing well so far anyway. How far is it to the Stargate from here?"  
  
"It is only a short distance Major Carter. We shall arrive shortly."  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
Jack and Daniel bolted from their glider as soon as they touched down. The Stargate stood about 200 metres from the landing field, and they grabbed their bags and ran as fast as they could, as another glider touched down behind them.  
  
"Hurry Daniel, dial the gate, quick!!" Jack yelled as Daniel pulled slightly ahead.  
  
Daniel held the tablet in his hand as he slid to a stop in front of the DHD and began dialling the address. Jack looked anxiously behind them, as the other team climbed out of their glider and started running towards them.  
  
"Hurry, hurry!" He yelled, as the gate kawooshed into life. He and Daniel sprinted for the gate, hoping to get through before the other team caught up.  
  
They burst through onto the other side of the gate, and seconds later the wormhole collapsed and disappeared. Jack turned, looking for the finish line, noting vaguely that the planet looked familiar.  
  
"There it is!" Daniel called out, as he spotted the two large flags and a more relaxed looking Phil standing in front of a large mat with one of the local inhabitants. They ran full tilt toward him as they heard the gate kawoosh into life again behind them.  
  
Seconds later they came to a sliding stop and together stepped onto the mat.  
  
"Colonel O'Neill and Dr Jackson." Phil looked at them, as they stood puffing in front of him expectantly. "You are the first team to cross the finish line, welcome to Pangar, the first Pit Stop in the race. You may now rest for 24 hours before starting the next leg of the race."  
  
Jack and Daniel cheered and hugged each other, then moved out of the way as Bastet and Kali sauntered up to claim second place.  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
Jonas could see another death glider right behind him as he landed as close to the gate as he could. He could see the other team climbing out as he and Lianna hit the ground.  
  
"Come on, run!!" he shouted at her as he grabbed the tablet out of her hand. He almost collided with Sam and Teal'c as they all arrived at the DHD together.  
  
"You dial Jonas." Sam indicated, and stepped back to allow him room. He smiled his thanks and within moments the gate kawooshed into life.  
  
The four of them stepped through the gate together, and ran towards the finish line, both teams stepping onto the mat in unison.  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
Ba'al and Osiris strode into the temple, their differences temporarily set aside by their desire to crush the opposition, and once again prove the Goa'uld supreme in the galaxy. There were still 5 other teams searching in the temple, and the two teams they had overtaken would soon be catching up. As they passed into the main hallway of the temple, one of the Jaffa teams cried out in triumph and exited one of the rooms further up the hallway. For a few tension filled moments they faced off in the hallway, then Ba'al moved slowly out of the way, his eyes glowing as he snapped a deadly insult at the two men in front of him. As they passed he could see that the one with the scar on his forehead was gripping tightly to his companion, keeping him from any foolish actions.  
  
They sauntered into the nearest room, and stood purveying the stacks and stacks of shelves for a short time. Whilst not opposed to stooping to dirtying their hands for the purpose of galactic domination, searching through countless numbers of tablets for the sake of a race was an entirely different thing.  
  
As they stood there, another cry of jubilation reached their ears, and they heard yet another team preparing to leave with their prize. Osiris glanced behind her at the doorway, then smiled cunningly. She glided over to the shelf, and took down a tablet at random.  
  
"Why waste time here," she smiled arrogantly, "when others can show us the way?"  
  
Ba'al answered her with his own superior grin, and they quickly left the room and returned to their glider, just as the other team lifted. They took off smoothly, and followed the other team to the gate.  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
Bra'tac reached the end of the row he had been searching, and stepped back, tense with frustration. He felt like they'd been searching for hours, and still nothing to show for it. Several teams had now found their tablets and left again, which meant that the remaining tablets would probably be even harder to find. He turned, scanning the room as he thought hard about where to look next. Rya'c was in the next room already, looking in every nook and cranny for the elusive tablet.  
  
As Bra'tac turned to leave the room, he noticed a small bench in the corner that had previously been covered by their bags. As he looked at it more carefully, he realised that one of the tiles making up the top of the bench had symbols carved on it, unlike those on the rest of the bench. He brushed off a bit of sand, and lifted the tile carefully from its place, revealing its true identity.  
  
"Rya'c!" he called with delight, "I have found the tablet we require! Come, we must hurry."  
  
Rya'c joined him in the hallway, a large smile on his face. "A coincidence Master Bra'tac! I also have found a tablet."  
  
"Well, leave it here for the next team to find then, we must leave."  
  
Rya'c quickly went and placed the second tablet on the altar, and then ran to join Bra'tac in the death glider. As they took off, the last two death gliders touched down, one after the other, and their occupants entered the temple as one of the other teams from the temple departed with their tablet.  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
TBC 


	7. Not in This Lifetime, part 8

Title: Not in This Lifetime Part 8  
  
Archive: FITR-site, fanfiction.net  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
Previously...  
  
Rya'c quickly went and placed the second tablet on the altar, and then ran to join Bra'tac in the death glider. As they took off, the last two death gliders touched down, one after the other, and their occupants entered the temple as one of the other teams from the temple departed with their tablet.  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
Ba'al and Osiris touched down just seconds after the glider they had followed from the temple. The team in front of them reached the DHD just as they climbed out of their glider, and they carefully timed their approach to catch the wormhole just before it shut down.  
  
Osiris exited the wormhole first, with Ba'al following close behind. They sauntered arrogantly over to the finish line, supremely confident that they had made it through to the next leg of the race.  
  
"Ba'al and Osiris. You are the seventh team to arrive." Phil regarded the two system lords as they gloated silently.  
  
"However. As you did not search for, or find one of the tablets with the co-ordinates, you have been docked one hour."  
  
They looked at each other, and then Phil with shock, which rapidly turned in to anger.  
  
"You must now wait to see if you will be competing in the next leg of the race, or if you have been eliminated."  
  
The two furious system lords stalked away from the finishing line to wait for the final outcome.  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
Sam, Jack, Daniel and Teal'c sat in the shade with Jonas, watching the remaining teams come through the gate. Shortly after Baal and Osiris had been given their time penalty, Bra'tac and Rya'c had come through the gate, followed closely by the first Qantasian team.  
  
"So do you reckon those cheating scumbag goa'ulds will make it or not?" Jack pondered as he leaned back in his chair and fiddled with his hat.  
  
Daniel looked at him, then over at the system lords, who were glaring at everyone in sight, and especially at the finishing line. "Well," he mused, "we can only hope that they get their just rewards."  
  
Sam snickered into her drink, as Teal'c practiced his eyebrow raising. "In recent times, the Goa'uld are more likely to receive their... 'just desserts'... than they have been accustomed too. I too hope that this will be the case."  
  
"Well, they'd better keep their fingers crossed," Sam observed, "as there are only 3 teams left to come through. If just one more team makes it before their hour is up, they're toast."  
  
Jack looked thoughtful for a moment, then leaned over and picked up his drink. "Well, here's hoping kids!"  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
Back at the temple the remaining teams were franticly searching for the tablets – rooms were searched, walls were tapped for hidden compartments, anything that could be moved, was moved. Moving further towards the rear of the temple, Sevann and Noor almost missed a small, dark opening leading upwards. Climbing hurriedly up the narrow winding steps, they came out into a small room, with a small altar in the centre, and several passages leading further into the depths of the temple. Sevann let out a cry of triumph as Noor picked up the tablet from the top of the altar, and they both hurried back down the stairs to the passage leading out of the temple.  
  
As they passed the doorways, they could hear the other two teams still searching in other rooms. Sevann stopped at a doorway long enough to call out to the team inside that there were hidden rooms at the rear of the temple, and then continued running out to the death glider. They climbed in, and took off with a roar, headed full speed towards the Stargate.  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
With just seconds left on the penalty countdown, Kelownan team of Sevann and Noor burst through the gate, and dashed to a sliding stop onto the finish mat. Ba'al and Osiris were eliminated, along with the second Tok'ra team arrived, and the second Qantasian team. The first leg of the race was over, and the teams retired gratefully to their rooms for some much needed rest, before beginning the next leg.  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
TBC 


	8. Not in This Lifetime, part 9

Title: Not in This Lifetime Part 9

Archive: FITR-site

* * *

Previously:

With just seconds left on the penalty countdown, the Kelownan team of Sevann and Noor burst through the gate, and dashed to a sliding stop onto the finish mat. Ba'al and Osiris were eliminated, along with the second Tok'ra team, and the second Qantasian team. The first leg of the race was over, and the teams retired gratefully to their rooms for some much needed rest, before beginning the next leg.

* * *

Jack and Daniel waited impatiently on the mat with the instruction envelope clutched tightly in their hands. The clock ticked down the minutes until their departure, which would be only seconds before Bastet and Kali, who had come through the gate almost on their tails, 24 hours before.

As the countdown reached zero, Daniel ripped open the envelope, and read out the instructions.

"Take the provided transport and use the map enclosed to find the Pangar's number 8 archeological dig site. There you will dig in the designated area to find an urn which will contain your next clue."

Glancing around quickly they paused briefly in astonishment, before racing over to the small buggy like contraption that was to be their mode of transport. Daniel pulled out the map as Jack claimed the drivers' seat, and with their usual bickering they headed off down the road.

"OK Jack, there's a turn off just down here a bit, looks like a minor road according to the map… yep, there it is, turn down there." Daniel waved his hand aimlessly off to the left as he studied the map.

"Tell me again Daniel, why are we doing this?" Jack grumped as they rattled down the very bumpy road.

"To promote our general friendliness, gain allies and because General Hammond ordered us too." Daniel replied, as he continued to study the map. "Ok, we should be coming to another cross roads soon, we need to turn right, then there'll be a river or something to cross. Not really sure what that squiggly line is meant to be…"  
  
Jack looked at Daniel suspiciously, who was completely engrossed in the map, turning it this way and that. With one eye on the road, Jack tried to look at the map that Daniel was tormenting, but failed miserably. As Daniel kept muttering to himself, Jack drove on, concentrating on avoiding the worst holes in the worn out road they were following.

"Daniel, how far away is this crossroad?"

"What?" Daniel looked up at last, with a look of confusion on his face. "Haven't we gotten to it yet? He looked back down at the map, turning it round as he did so. "We should have reached that at least 10 minutes ago," he murmured under his breath, "I don't understand…"

Jack slammed on the brakes, and reached over and grabbed map off Daniel. He looked at it, turned it around, looked at it again, then swore.

"For crying out loud Daniel, you had it upside down, we've gone the wrong way!" He then looked at the road, which had narrowed considerable in the last 5 minutes, so much so that it was impossible for Jack to turn the buggy around.

* * *

Back at the starting line, Jonas, Lianna, Sam and Teal'c watched the two vehicles disappear around the corner, as they waited for their turn to leave. As they received the signal to go, both teams raced to their buggies and headed down the road. Carefully following the directions on the map, they arrived at their intended destination without any mishaps.

As they climbed out of their vehicle and headed towards the flags that marked their objective, they noticed that there was something odd.

"I can't see Daniel or the Colonel anywhere Teal'c, I wonder what happened to them." Sam noted as they grabbed the specialised digging equipment and started looking for one of the urns that was supposed to be buried there.

"Bastet and Kali are also absent Major Carter." Teal'c observed. "It would appear that they have misplaced themselves."

Sam shovelled a pile of dirt to one side as she searched for the urn. "Well, I hope they find themselves soon, I'd hate for them to be eliminated so early on." Sam laughed softly, "I bet the Colonel let Daniel read the map."

Teal'c smiled with her, and they continued their search for the urn.

* * *

Jack and Daniel had finally managed to back up along the track far enough to turn around, when they discovered another obstacle blocking their way. Bastet and Kali had followed them, but realising sooner than Daniel and the Colonel that they were on the wrong road, had also attempted to turn around, but in the process had gotten bogged in a mud hole on one side of the road.

Jack swore when he saw the Goa'ould team blocking their path, "Oh for crying out loud, get out of the way!!" he yelled in frustration as he climbed out of his buggy and strode towards them. The pair of system lords gave him only a sparing glance as they continued trying to turn their vehicle around.

"Hang on Jack!" Daniel called out, as he also clambered out of the buggy and headed towards the obstacle behind them. "Darn pigheaded airforce colonel's." he muttered to himself as he watched Jack start haranguing the two system lords.

It soon became obvious that it would take the cooperation of all four racers to get both vehicles back on the road, and facing the proper direction, a task that quickly seemed to become impossible, as the two teams bickered and squabbled.

Eventually the teams managed to cooperate long enough to place both buggies on the correct path, and after re-consulting their maps, raced off towards the dig site.

* * *

Rak'nor and Nev'ak arrived at the dig site just as Sam dug up her jar, and retrieved the clue for the next challenge of the race.

"Teal'c! I've found one!" she cried out delightedly as she jogged back to the buggy. They smashed open the sealed urn, and read the next clue together.

"Drive back to the city of Pangar, and find the National Museum. Inside you will find on display a section of wall taken from an ancient temple. Contained within the text on the wall there is a hidden Stargate address. Translate the wall to find your next destination."

They hopped into their buggy, and headed back towards the city, passing Jacob and Malek, who were just arriving at the dig site.

* * *

TBC…


	9. Not in This Lifetime, part 10

Title: Not in This Lifetime Part 10

Archive: FITR-site

* * *

Previously:

Sam and Teal'c are now in front as Jack let Daniel read the map, and they got lost...

* * *

When Jack and Daniel finally arrived at their first task for the second leg of the race, there were 3 other teams at the dig site, including Bastet and Kali who had arrived just seconds in front of them. Even as they got out of their buggy, Rak'nor and Nev'ak found one of the buried urns, and departed in search of the next clue.

"Ok, so what are we doing here again Daniel?" Jack asked his teammate, slight tension still in his voice after their mishap with the map.

"Digging Jack. We're digging." Daniel replied tightly as they hurried towards the flagged area. "A simple task that I'm sure even we can cope with. Oh good, it's been divided into sections properly, come on, this one over here looks good."

"Ah yes," Jack replied, "All right then, start digging Danny boy."

Daniel glared at Jack, happily wishing that eyes really could shoot daggers at the hapless colonel.

Jack stared back, wide eyed and innocent. "What? You are my resident digging expert, aren't you?"

Daniel ignored Jack's comment as he picked a spot and started digging.

* * *

Jonas watched the tall green hills go by as he and Lianna drove back towards the city of Pangar. So far they hadn't had any problems, and it was easy to relax and enjoy the view. Up ahead the city slowly came into view, and he settled back into interpreting the map. The Museum they were looking for was on the opposite side of the city from both the Stargate, and the archaeological dig site they had just left, however there was also another museum devoted to more recent history in another area of the city. Jonas studied the map very carefully for a minute before directing Lianna in the direction of the right museum.

* * *

Bra'tac stood with Ry'ac at the line, waiting their turn to leave. As soon as they were given the signal they ripped open their clue, and headed towards the dig site. Several minutes later the remaining Qantasian team followed them, and the last team, Sevann and Noor, in turn pursued them.

Sam and Teal'c arrived at the museum, where they could see a buggy already parked haphazardly in the area reserved for the racers. They jumped out, and raced into the imposing building, searching for directions to their next clue.

"Teal'c can you see a directory anywhere?" Sam asked. "There's got to be a list or map here somewhere." They entered a large room that contained the map and directory they were looking for, a large fountain, a help desk, and a pair of elevators at either end.

"Major Carter, do you know where we are supposed to go? Teal'c enquired as he looked at the map.

"I'm not sure," Sam replied, her eyes searching the directory, "but we know it's got to do with ancient temples so... OK! Here, on the third floor, that looks promising. There's a display on religious artefacts and writings. Lets go!"

Sam and Teal'c exited the elevator at the third floor, and followed the signs to the display they were looking for. As they wandered through the large display of statues, urns, frescos and other relics it became apparent that they were looking in the wrong place.

"It would appear that we have come to the wrong place Major Carter." Teal'c commented as they turned a corner into yet another room full of ancient vases and religious relics. "May I suggest we return to the entrance and search the map again."

Sam sighed and turned around. "Good idea Teal'c, I guess I must have missed something. Who's that?" Sam turned as Jonas and Lianna came around the corner and entered the room they were in from the other end. "Hey, hi Jonas, having any luck?"

Jonas shook his head, "No, I think we must be in the wrong place."  
  
"When we looked at the map, I noticed there was another exhibit on temples, "Lianna added, "but I'm not sure if it was the second floor or the fifth floor."

The two teams looked at each other... they could either return to the entrance and double check the map, or take a chance by going straight to one of the other floors.

* * *

"At last!" Daniel pulled the urn out of the ground, and handed it to Jack. It seemed like he had been digging for hours, and he was hot, sweaty and grumpy. It seemed like every other team had managed to find their jar almost straight away, but it had taken him ages to find his. Jack smashed open the jar, and pulled out the next clue.

"Well?" Daniel asked as he grabbed a drink.

Jack read out the clue as they hurried back to the buggy. As they reached the buggy, instead of hopping back into the drivers seat, Jack grabbed the map, and settled himself into the passenger seat.

"This time, I'm reading the map." He said decisively, "You're driving. Now lets get a move on!"

Daniel sighed and rolled his eyes, then climbed into the buggy, and they drove off towards the city.

* * *

Bra'tac watched Jack and Daniel leave with their clue as he and Ry'ac chose a site to dig in. They found an urn almost immediately, and were only a short distance behind Jack and Daniel. Bra'tac drive the buggy as Ry'ac gave him directions to the museum. Although only a short way behind, the winding of the road, and the increase in traffic as they got closer to the city meant that they soon lost sight of Jack and Daniel. When they arrived at the museum a while later there were four buggies parked in the car park, but no way of knowing who was in front of them, and if any of the other teams had already finished this challenge.

The two Jaffa quickly found the main entrance with the map and directory, and after careful observation, took the elevator to the temple display on the fifth floor.

* * *

TBC...


	10. Not in This Lifetime, part 11

Title: Not in This Lifetime Part 11

Author: Kawoosh

Email:

Status: complete

Category: Action adventure

Pairings: none

Spoilers: none

Season: Season 7

Sequel/Series Info: sequel to "Not in This Lifetime" Part 10.

Rating: G

Content Warnings: none

Summary: A different brand of crossover...

Disclaimer: Stargate SG1 is the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions; The Amazing Race belongs to CBS. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Archive: FITR-site,

Comments: Thanks to Wessy for the beta.

* * *

Previously: 

Bra'tac watched Jack and Daniel leave with their clue as he and Ry'ac chose a site to dig in. They found an urn almost immediately, and were only a short distance behind Jack and Daniel…

The two Jaffa quickly found the main entrance with the map and directory, and after careful observation, took the elevator to the temple display on the fifth floor.

* * *

The elevator arrived at the third floor where Sam, Teal'c, Jonas and Lianna were waiting. The doors opened to reveal Bastet and Kali inside, and the two human teams stepped aside to allow them to exit the elevator, then got in themselves. 

Sam pressed the button for the ground floor.

"What are you doing, Sam?" Jonas asked.

"If they see us go up, they'll know we haven't found the next clue yet," she explained. "We'll go down first, then back up to the fifth floor. Hopefully they'll spend hours looking on the third floor!" and she grinned.

Sam, Teal'c, Jonas and Lianna breathed a collective sigh of relief as they exited the elevator on the fifth floor to see the section of temple wall that covered the huge expanse of the gallery. Running 100 meters from one end to the other, the wall was thick with carvings and inscriptions. Just inside the door was a museum staff member, ready to confirm their translation of the Stargate address, and give them their next clue.

"Jonas, how about you and Lianna start this end, Teal'c and I will start at the other end, and first to find it shares?" Sam suggested quickly.

"Sounds good to me," Jonas smiled, and as the teams headed to opposite ends of the room, the elevators arrived with Bra'tac and Rya'c. After a short, murmured conversation, they split up, one walking towards Sam and Teal'c, the other towards Jonas and Lianna, their eyes rapidly searching the carvings on the wall. Walking at a steady pace, they each reached the end of the room, turned around and walked back again, still studying the wall. After only a few minutes, they met up in the centre of the room, conferred quietly with the staff member, who gave them their clue, and then left.

Sam and Teal'c looked around as they noticed Bra'tac and Rya'c leave, exchanged bewildered glances, then looked along the room to where Jonas and Lianna were also looking a little stunned.

"Teal'c, did we miss something, or are you just out of 'Jaffa' practice?" Sam asked jokingly.

"I am not sure, Major Carter." Teal'c sounded slightly puzzled. "I will do as they did, and see what I may discover."

"I'll keep looking here," Sam said, and Teal'c began walking the length of the room.

* * *

Jack and Daniel pulled up outside the small museum. 

"Jack, I can't see any other buggies; either this will be very easy to find, or we've gone the wrong way," Daniel observed.

As they ran up the steps to the front entrance, a big sign on the front door declared that this museum was "Closed for Renovations" and both men swore silently to themselves as they turned and raced back to their buggy.

"Just don't say anything!" Jack warned Daniel as they turned their buggy around. Daniel snickered to himself as Jack gave him new directions.

* * *

Back at the dig site, Sevann and Noor had finally found their urn and, clue in hand, headed for their next task, leaving the remaining Qantasian team digging frantically in an effort to find their urn and stay in the race.

* * *

Teal'c suddenly stopped in front of a section of wall about halfway between the centre of the room and where Jonas and Lianna were looking, and stared intently at the wall for a moment.

"I believe I have found what we seek," he announced, and the other three hurried to join him. On the wall in front of him was a large carving of a pyramid surrounded by what looked to be an oasis, with several constellations inscribed in one half of the sky above it. "It is the only thing I have seen that may translate as a Stargate address."  
Sam looked at the constellations in the carving, and smiled as she recognised the address. "It's the Land of Light!" she said, and the two teams made their way over to the museum staff member, who gave them their next clue. They took the elevator back down to the lobby, where they passed Jacob and Malek, and Rak'nor and Nev'ak, heading up to the fifth floor.

* * *

"Are we there yet?" Jack asked as Daniel parked next to one of the other buggies in the parking area. 

"I think so," Daniel replied as he gazed up at the museum. "This certainly seems more like it. Come on, let's get on with this."

They hurried up the steps and soon found the lobby and the directory. Daniel studied it carefully, trying to ignore Jack's impatient shuffling behind him.

"Oh, come on, Daniel, how long does it take you to find the right floor? Look there, third floor, ancient doohickeys and what-nots, that sounds about right."

Daniel sighed. "Actually, Jack, there are three floors that could have what we want, but this one on the fifth floor sounds most promising to me. See, 'The Wall of Shag'ran'? Shag'ran was the Goa'uld who defeated Ra and took over on Pangar until…"

"OK, I don't need a history lesson, lets just go find our next clue, all right?" Jack cut Daniel off before he could get too enthusiastic, and they headed for the elevator.They hopped in, and Daniel pushed the button for the fifth floor; as they got, they passed Jacob, Malek, Rak'nor and Nev'ak, who were headed back down to the buggies with their new clue.

"Wow, this is huge!" Jack exclaimed as he took in the sight of the wall on display. "How long is this gonna take?" he asked as Daniel headed in for a closer look.

"I have no idea, Jack," Daniel replied as looked at the wall in fascination. "Jack, this is amazing, it has…"

"Ah! Ah!" Jack interrupted. "The gate address, Daniel, remember what we're here for! Come on, we may as well start at one end and work our way down, and we'll do it together, so you don't get distracted, and I don't miss it."

Jack grabbed Daniel's arm and dragged him down towards the end of the room, one eye on the wall as he did so.

* * *

TBC… 


End file.
